How to Write your own Wedding Vows

Photography: Heidi Lockhart Somes

Etsy Wedding Vow Books

Happy Friday eve! Tomorrow (April 28th) is our 6 month wedding anniversary! I don't know what we are doing for it, but it involves some type of food...Our weekends don't look so typical anymore, as Nick spends Friday nights and all day Saturday at the wine bar. Where Friday date night used to be the norm, they aren't really anymore. I'm excited to be able to just spend time with him tonight!

Anyway, I was trying to think of the perfect blog post to publish for this occasion and I knew I had to talk about our wedding vows! Side note, if this topic interests you, you'd probably enjoy reading my posts on Our Love Story, Date Someone Who Makes you Better, and Marriage Advice from 22 Different Couples.

When we began wedding planning, it became clear that Nick wanted to do personal vows and I wanted to do traditional vows. Our officiant actually recommended that we do personal vows because it makes it that much more special. I wasn't against personal vows, but I'm a pretty private person (Is that possible with a blog?!) and didn't want to do them in front of everyone because 1) No one can hear them but you. I've been to weddings where they did personal vows and I could only make out a few words. If the point is for you to be able to hear them, I've never been able to...but it's not about me 2) It's intimate and I would prefer for it to feel that way and not be in a crowded room. 

Our compromise? We wrote personal vows and did them during our first look. (read more about my thoughts on a first look here)  I am SO glad we did this and Nick is too. Afterward he stated that he didn't know how he would have been able to do personal vows in front of everyone because of how emotional it was. Honestly, such a great memory and I'm so glad it was just us...with our photographers and videographers of course;) 

That being said, no one has read or heard our vows until now! Do you feel special?! ;) We briefly talked about kind of the structure we wanted our vows to have, just so we were on the same page, but we didn't know what each other said until we heard them. They are both so us, so great, and so very different in regard to writing styles, yet still similar in our love for one another. So if you just came here to read the vows, here you go! Nick said his first, so I placed his first below, then mine.

NICK'S VOWS

Lauren

To you

To the one who holds my heart

To the one who loves me

The one who keeps me focused

The one who shows me how, these are for you...

These are my vows, the promises I keep, and hold dearest to my heart

I vow to love you

I vow to protect and honor you

I vow to always be at your side, fighting in your favor, for your favor

I promise to always lead you to the best of my abilities

...to keep our marriage and love pointed up at Christ and to each other

I will Bear with you in all things tough, happy, sad, lovely, joyful, and difficult

When you are cold, I promise to warm you with my body and soul

When you are warm, I'll turn up the AC to 68 degrees where you know I love it

When there are shows or movies to watch, I will wait for you and watch them holding you in my arms

When you can't decide where to eat, I promise to decide for us with your interests in mind

And when every restaurant is closed, or neither of us want to go out, I will open a bottle of wine and cook with you

I promise to be there when you are sick, healthy, happy, or sad

You are my love

My bear,

My God given wife

...the perfect women for me.

You're  mine and I am yours

I promise and vow to be your husband

I love you

*insert bear face* (you can see it in the photos!)

 

LAUREN'S VOWS

My dearest Nick,

When I met you, I knew that there was something different about you - something different and better, than any other person I had ever met. I knew in that moment that I wanted to be with you. You came into my life when I least expected it, but I'm so glad you did.

I have loved learning about your big heart, knack for patience with me, and your love to make me laugh. Thank you for always keeping me on my toes, helping me relax, and truly desiring to make me happy. You also have an insatiable want to help me.  My earliest memory of that is when my car broke down on the way to your apartment. We had only been dating for a little while - maybe a couple of months- so, I called my dad instead of you. When I told you, you looked me straight in the eye and said "Why would you do that, ya weirdo? I exist to help you." Those last 5 words have stuck with me all this time - this trait is one of my favorite things about you.

I love you and can't believe today is our wedding day. I'm so glad you chose me and want me to be your wife, or as you like to say...your wifey bear. Here are some of the many promises I am making to you today:

I vow to choose joy every morning, no matter our circumstances.

I vow to love and support you with every decision that is made.

I vow to listen to you, even when I don't agree or understand.

I vow to maintain a united front while in public, to keep our bond strong.

I vow to dance with you wherever you wish.

I vow to leave tickling to Tuesdays only, unless it's a special occasion.

I vow to hold you when you cry and are hurting.

I vow to use touch and words when communicating.

I vow to adore you as much as Elliot adored JD.

I vow to celebrate your victories, no matter how big or small.

I vow to be patient whether I am waiting on dinner or just helping you remember things.

I vow to love you and only you, as long as we both shall live. 

I can't wait t cook more meals, drink more wine, and create a life together, with you. I am so thankful that God brought you to me. You are my greatest gift. And if I haven't said it enough, I love you!

 

SO. How did I write mine? What format? What thoughts? I have received a lot of questions on this, so here is a breakdown of my writing thoughts to help you write yours! It's really not that different from writing a paper!

INTRODUCTION: Take this time to set the tone and talk about how much that person means to you. Nick stated everything I was to him, but I launched into story telling mode and mentioned some of my favorite memories. Neither is right or wrong - do what feels best for you and your relationship. (This was really paragraph 1-3 for me)

BODY: This is the meat of what you're saying...your literal vows. I think it's important to make these YOU as a couple. Yes, some of them should be serious, but some of them should be funny and light! For example, Nick is super ticklish and sometimes he is tickled even by me just looking at him the wrong way. I find it HILARIOUS, hence the tickle Tuesday reference. He's also a HUGE Scrubs fan, so I referenced JD and Elliot, two of the main characters. In Nick's vows, he mentioned the AC, which is so funny, because If I had my way, we'd be at 75, not 68 or colder! Be sure to include things that you want to promise, but also things that they want. One example of this in my vows is my vow to use "touch and words" - I'm referencing the 5 love languages. Touch and words are Nick's top 2. In Nick's vows, he mentioned keeping us Christ centered, which is super important to the both of us.  I also mentioned things that were hard for me to do, like listening. I'm not always good about letting him finish without interrupting, so it's something I am trying to get better at. Nick mentioned that he would always be on my side and fight for my favor, which isn't something he is bad at by any means, just something that kind of changes when you "leave and cleave". Try to scratch past the basic "I will always love you" type of vows and be more specific! It's a lot more special that way. (This was literally all of my vows)

CONCLUSION: Basically wrap up all that you just said.  Nick and I love to cook and drink wine, so I mentioned those things, because they are a huge part of our relationship and something I see us doing forever. He actually mentioned that in his vows!  This is really just sealing all that you have just said, so don't think to hard about it. (This was just my last paragraph)

And that's how I wrote my vows! You can tell that Nick's are a bit more poetic, but still follow the same basic structure. I hope this helps you with your vows! If you didn't do personal vows at your wedding, it might be a fun anniversary gift (DIY and not a lot of $! - did a DIY Valentine's Post here) to write them to each other. We got vow books as a fun (and pretty!) way to showcase and remember them. You could definitely make them yourself, but the ones I bought were super cute and affordable, plus it was one less thing I had to do!  Side note - on the inside left cover it has our wedding date. So darling!! I think they are done with water based marker? Not sure, but Nick's mom came in clutch, when my cat decided it was a good idea to step on them with wet paws...needless to say I was not a happy camper. She was able to fix most of it to where you can't even tell! 

Did you write your own vows / do you want to write your own vows? I always love hearing people's takes on the idea! Let me know if you need any more help writing them. It was so fun for me!

Here are all of my vendors and information:

Dress: Blue Willow by Anne Barge, Nordstrom

Hair and Makeup: Grand Slam Glam

Eyelash Extensions: Amazing Lash Garland

Flowers: Lizzie Bee's Flower Shoppe

Jewelry: Elsa Peretti Diamonds by the Yard Necklace and Bracelet, Vintage Diamond Earrings

Nails: Bellacures

Engagement Ring and Wedding Bands: Fuller's Jewelry

Shoes: Tory Burch Holiday 2015 Satin Burgundy Pumps

Photography: Heidi Lockhart Somes

TuxedosMenguin

Food: Culinary Art Catering

Wedding VenueThe Castle at Rockwall

VideographyBow Tie Media

Rehearsal Dinner: Eddie V's

Snapchat Filter: Wedding Wire

Invitations and Save the Dates: Minted

Vow Books: Etsy (similar here too)

Wine Glasses and Platter: A Finer Impression

Cakes: Annie's Culinary Creations (she doesn't refrigerate her cakes!)

Bridesmaid and House Party DressesBrideside

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