Valentine's Day Plans and Gifts based on the 5 Different Love Languages
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I know we are just getting over our holiday hangovers, but Iām here to tell you that Valentineās Day is less than a month away. Whether you love or hate the holiday, it is coming! I usually do some form of gift guide and while Iām still going to do that (keep scrolling if that is what you are here for), I also wanted to go a little deeper than just a simple gift guide.
The other week I polled you on Instagram about what youād like me to cover regarding V-Day, and the top 2 requests were recipes (going to do that one later) and gifts. My sister, who is a therapist, recommended a gift guide based on the 5 love languages. I LOVED this idea, because itās thoughtful and can be used for any special person in your life anddd pretty much any holiday too.
Iām a firm believer that Valentineās Day is a day for all love, not just romantic love. Biblically speaking, there are different kinds of love! The Greeks have several words, but the three Iām most familiar with are Agape (unconditional - God love), Eros (romantic), and Phileo (brotherly). Itās great to celebrate the eros in your life, but donāt forget about your phileo loves this Valentineās Day - your friends and family!
Wildfox Cherry Coke Pullover | Agolde Jeans | Veja Sneakers | Wearing Honey and Vinegar Lipstick that I put on and wiped off for more of a stain - try it for 25% off w/code ELLE25
Okay so back to the topic at handā¦ Valentineās Day plans and gifts based on love languages. Are you familiar with the 5 love languages? You should 100% read the book about them by Dr. Gary Chapman if you havenāt, but if you are short on time, you should at least take the quiz to find out what you are. Even if you have taken the quiz before, itās great to take it again to see how you have changed. I just re-took it and mine has 100% changed. My top two used to be words of affirmation and physical touch, but now they are acts of service and receiving gifts. I think there is a big difference in the fact that I took the quiz when I was single and have now been married for 3 years, but that is neither here nor there.
So why even care about the love languages? Well, how you give and receive love is super important to know. Have you ever thought you were showing love to someone, but they donāt see it as such? You may not be speaking their love language! Say you spent a lot of time on a gift, but the person values quality time. Sure they might be thankful you gave it to them, but they probablllly wonāt really care or understand the present and would prefer to just spend time with you over some extravagant gift. Knowing and understanding someone elseās love language is important for making others feel good AND managing your own expectations. Nick and I did counseling pre-marriage and our biggest takeaway was managing unmet expectations. (and understanding the 4 negative communication styles!) People canāt read your mind, so just be upfront and honest about your intentions and what you want. Becoming more self-aware can help you realize when you are projecting your own issues onto others, make you more interested in treating others how theyād like to be treated, andddd of course make your life easier.
So, hopefully youāve taken the quiz by now, sent it to your partner / friend, and are ready to plan Valentineās Day or even Galentineās Day ;) A lot of people have more than 1 love language AND some of these gift ideas can overlap categories, so use them all to think of what to do together. Or maybe just treat yourself, if you are single. Self love is important too! Hereās some ideas for this season of love:
Touch - These people crave and thrive off of physical touch. Prettttty straight forward. Hah!
What to do for V-day: Take dance lessons, go out dancing, ice skating, participate in a workout together, couples spa day, pottery class - basically anything that involves touching, so your partner can feel close to you.
Gift ideas:
Massage oils or body butter (get 10% off this one w/code ELLEMULENOS) and a gift card for a massage, or maybe a face mask and a certificate for a facial, a bottle of nail polish, along with a manicure certificate, you catch my drift! - make it a couples outing or just one for them alone
Foot reflexology outing together
Soft blanket, favorite candy, and a coupon for a snuggly movie night in and THEY get to choose the film
Coupon booklet for massages from you (Iāll take one of these, Nick;) )
Words - Whether written or verbal, these humans get somewhat of a āhighā from affirmation, appreciation, and encouragement. Words of affirmation used to be one of my top 2 and even though that has changed, I still cling to old cards and even text screenshots. These can be super easy and meaningful, so donāt underestimate this love language.
What to do for V-day: Over dinner or perhaps after dinner, play the Hygge Game, which brings up deep questions and conversation. Also just a side thought - in LA we have Cafe Gratitude, which specializes in positive affirmation and a question of the day, which I think is fun! More of a lunch place IMO, but just an idea.
Gift ideas:
Printed book with images of yāall and written or typed things you love of them - Can go old school route and make a scrapbook too
Fill out What I Love About You book
Custom playing cards with a note about 52 things you love about them/what makes them special
A thoughtful letter for every day leading up to Valentineās Day or even the whole month
Leave post-it notes around the house with encouragement and things you love about them
Place notes in random places that they will find as they go, like their sock drawer, work bag, sandwich bag, suitcase, etc
Acts of Service - Walk the walk is the mantra of these lovers. DO things, donāt just say them. Ultimately if you are trying to plan for a person who loves this way, think about what stresses them out or takes up the bulk of their time. THIS is how you can show them loveā¦by stepping in and doing those things.
What to do for V-day: Something that they love - bonus points if you donāt really enjoy it and they like it! For example, cook them a meal if they normally do it - donāt forget to clean the dishes too ;)
Gift ideas:
Gift cards to make their life simpler, like Postmates or Favor, Uber, a maid service, a blowout at a salon, etc
Coupon booklet to do the dishes, put away the laundry, etc
Actually doing the things they ask you to do ;) Maybe right it in a note and say you love them and will do better
Quality Time - JUST BE WITH ME is often heard escaping the lips of these. Be intentional and youāll be golden. Maybe place your phone in another room or put it on do not disturb, when youāre with one of these.
What to do for V-day: Something they love, with them. This is really vague, but itās often hard to plan for these people, because they actually only care about being with you. Whether it is a movie, dinner, or a picnic and a walk around a fun part of the city, just do it and focus on them.
Gift ideas:
Hang out in nature - a hike, favorite park, etc
Plan a weekend getaway, or even just a day trip
Take a class together (workout, cooking, something they love)
Play a game (there are lots of 2 people options besides checkers, and chess - think bananagrams, jenga (can also make this special and write on each jenga piece something you love about them!), a drinking game with a show (hah!) , scrabble, a puzzle, this or that, etc)
Create a custom puzzle with a picture you both and work it together
Gift a watch and give a sweet note about time with them and a free pass to do whatever they want on X night
Gifts - Keep in mind, presents donāt have to be expensive. Itās usually the thought behind this love language, not gifts in a materialistic sense. If youāre feeling stumped, I wrote a blog post about how to give thoughtful gifts here. This post on how to make gift cards more personal might help too!
What to do for V-day: Make it about their favorite things! Whether you cook their favorite meal, take them to their favorite restaurant, or even picnic at their happy place.
Gift ideas:
favorite drink- case of special beer, wine or even softdrink
Listen - what do they say they want? This is always impressive - when you remember they said they liked something
BoxFox makes beautiful gift boxes that are really thoughtful and easy to send
PRO TIP: If you are wanting to go out to eat or an activity, try doing it before or after V-Day, to avoid surge pricing. If you are gifting dance lessons, present a a print out of it and schedule it for the following month, etc. Not much I can suggest if you want to go out to eat though, as a lot of people are celebrating before or after now; however, something that could work is if you get surprise reservation at a popular place that is hard to get into in the coming weeks, which you can share as part of a gift on the day of! Personally, we like to make our Valentineās Dinner ;)
On another note, I always like to send valentine cards in the mail to my friends and family. Sure it is great for people who need words of affirmation, but it also works as a gift, because cards arenāt sent as much anymore! I just bought these from Etsy and canāt wait to get them in! I highly suggest doing this, for a fun little mailbox surprise.
Want some other gift ideas? Here are some of my favorite things that would make for wonderful gifts!
Initial Earrings: My sister-in-law has her and her bfās initials for earrings and I thought it was such a cute idea! These are mine and Nickās initials ;)
Fuzzy Slippers: I have these slippers and they rock. If you are a half size or have wide feet, Iād size up. Theyāll stretch a little bit after you get them though.
Cote Nail Polish: 7 free (on the nontoxic spectrum) and cruelty free!! Read more clean brands here.
Shower Wine Holder: I thought this was cute and hilarious!! Perfect for a bath lover.
Skylar Perfume Set: Perfume is so personal. Get her a sample set so she can decide what her scent is. Sheāll then get a discount on a full bottle. OR you can buy her the whole perfume set with full bottle included, for her to choose after she decides. Read more about Skylar and their nontoxic spectrum perfumes here.
Honey and Vinegar Liquid Lipstick: Pretty AND clean lipstick. I love the shade Malibu as a neutral. Grab it for 25% off w/code ELLEMULENOS. Read more about the brand here.
Diamond Earrings: These are a great basic - something sheād wear every day!
Dirty Rose Candle: A pretty AND clean candle. Read more about nontoxic candles here.
Candle / Massage Oil: I thought this was cool because it is a candle, but you can actual use the wax as massage oil!
Primally Pure Chapstick: An easy gift or a great goodie for a friend. Get 10% off w/code ELLEMULENOS.
Dagne Dover Backpack: I use this backpack all the time - for travel or even just toting things around in the city. Read my full review of it here.
BKR Paris Balm: This lip balm is so hydrating! I shared a little about it here.
Veja Sneakers: I will write more on these soon on the blog, but these sneakers are cute and conscious! If you are a half size, size down.
Senreve Aria Belt Bag: A belt bag that also doubles as a crossbody!! So kind of a splurge, but worth it. See how to style it here. Use code ELLEMULENOS for $50 off.
Primally Pure Bath Salts: Perfect for a special bath! Use code ELLEMULENOS for 10% off.
Primally Pure Rose Quartz Face Roller: This is my favorite face roller Iāve ever tried! Read about how to use one here. Grab this one for 10% off w/code ELLEMULENOS.
BKR Liter Bottle: This is my FAVORITE water bottle. All glass, no metal taste, and you can throw it in the dishwasher. Read my review of the bottle here.
BKR 500 ml Bottle: A smaller, more travel friendly size of the liter, shared above.
Senreve Mini Maestra: Okay, a total splurge, but I just had to list it, because it is so pretty. I have the larger one and reviewed it here. It comes in 3 sizes and tons of colors. Use code ELLEMULENOS for $50 off.
Primally Pure Body Oil: Perfect for massages or just hydrating skin! Get 10% off w/code ELLEMULENOS.
Fellow Kettle: Nick has this and uses it every day to make coffee!
Airpod Pro Cover: Great for covering your headphones and it is cute! I mean manly.Hah!
Pink Himalayan Salt Block: This is fun to cook with and is different from just your average grill. A Himalayan Salt Lamp would be a great gift too!
Map Rocks Glass: Iāve purchased these for Nick before. Grab some cute glasses with the map of some place special. They have college towns too!
BKR Liter Bottle: I bought one of these for Nick and to my surprise he is using it and drinking more water!
Fellow Travel Mug: This is the best mug to keep your coffee (or tea) hot!
Fellow Coffee Brewer: Nick uses this when he makes coffee for a group of people. So practical!
Lululemon Joggers: The comfiest pants!!
Veja Sneakers: I think these sneakers are so cute, even for guys.
Red Veja Sneakers: Same as the above ;)
Bonobos Bomber Jacket: Nick has this and it is his favorite thing right now. Note, wash it before wearing it, so the color doesnāt bleed.
Primally Pure Beard Oil: Nontoxic beauty for guys ;) Grab it for 10% off w/code ELLEMULENOS.
Dagne Dover Carryall Weekender: This travel bag looks legit! I think it actually may be next on MY list to purchase.
Dagne Dover Backpack: Nick loves my backpack, so actually thinking of buying him one!
Have the best Valentineās Day! And donāt put too much pressure on yourself about it ;)
For this post, I collaborated with 4 of my girlfriends since we all wanted to discuss all things Valentine's Day. I hope they help make your day a little more fun and a little less pressure filled!!
Valentineās Day Lipstick Guide
Valentineās Day Drugstore Makeup Look
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